the L word. you cringe. roll your eyes. too young, too inexperienced, too early to know. that has been my mantra. but then i think about things as of recently, i think differently. that doesnt mean that ive turned into one of those head over heels, absolutely obsessed girls...my viewpoint is just a little different now, just a changed tone in the color. that word is not something to be tossed around. its not a feeling, its a commitment. its something that is so important to us as human beings; its a thing we crave, a necessity, its needed. it ties people together with bonds that dont break, if its true that is. those bonds can be stretched ragged but they're still there. once this commitment is there, it doesnt go away. that word, its a deep rooted undertaking. its one that surpasses all else in all situations, the good and the bad. the stressed and the joyous. bitter and excitement. its kind of like when you paint something, and its just a careless job where the paint is slapped on hastily. that top layer is a temporary coat, dull and patchy. the true color is still underneath, vibrant and ever-present. as the top layer wears away, just like our constantly changing moods and our reeling emotions that come and go, the truly beautiful color underneath streaks through. its always been there, sometimes you just have to work to keep it visible. and no, things are not always gonna be just dandy. but thats life. we are no where near perfect, and our flaws will always trip us up. but when there are two [beings] that are compatible, fit one another's mold, things tend to flow rather effortlessly. it becomes simple to put his needs and satisfaction and desires above your own. looking back on the selfishness that consumes you seems so frivolous. time wasted on pleasing yourself. but pleasing him seems so easy. and no, it doesnt consume you in the least. that is the wrong path to go. balance is key. and i have that. an equal yoke brings about that balance i so desire to have. its like that feeling of things just being so absolutely right that anything else just seems silly. perfectly fitted aspects of each other that move together so seamlessly.
"i think im in love with you..."
confession. the next level. i like to take things slow, savor those little moments. im ready for this move up though. the future of what is supposed to come after, well it's a long ways away. but frankly, i am perfectly content with sitting back and waiting for it. im in for the long haul. just enjoy the present for now, look forward to the future. thats my plan.
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