i'm my own worst critic.

as i looked in the mirror, critiquing myself; my bad skin, my need for a tan, my out of shapeness, my unruly hair, i realized something. there's no need for it. God created me in His image. would we ever have the nerve to say "hey God, having a bad hair day?" or "God, you have a less than perfect body." that's a big fat NO. so if we are created in His image, which is an absolutely and competely perfect one, why do we ask ourselves these questions each and every day? i struggle with my own self-confidence all the time. when my sports aren't in-season, i feel like a fat out of shape slob. so my lung capacity isn't quite the same as mid-soccer season. why beat myself up about the 'flab' on my body? there's no excuse except for our own sinful nature. and that's not even a halfway decent excuse. my new [school] year's resolution is to go in there as a confident 17 year old who is comfortable with her body and her looks. i don't need a guy to tell me i look good. sure, that'd be nice, but that's not what i'll let control my self-esteem. if all he can see in me is my body, he isn't even worth talking to in the first place. my inner self is what matters, because it's what matters most to our Lord.

"a woman should be so lost in God that a man should have to first seek God in order to find her."

the body God gave me is a gift. it can run and jump and ride horses and climb mountains and swim and everything else God intended it for. why in the world should i ask for more than that?

so God, i'm sorry i beat myself up about the healthy and fit body you've given me. i take all i can do for granted because i feel like i don't look good enough for the world's approval. all i want is your approval, it's all i need. and i thank you for it. along with this body that can do just about anything i put my mind to. you're an amazing Creator, there is no one like you.

love, Cecelia

1 peter 3:3-4

"your beauty should not come from outward appearances, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's eyes." 

song of songs 4:7

"all beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you."

psalm 139:14

"i praise you because i am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderufl, i know that full well"

inspirational lakes.

i did something i NEVER thought id ever be able to do today. i wakeboarded. it was so exhiliarating! I FREAKIN WAKEBOARDED!!!! it was amazing. from what id heard the hardest part was actually getting up; from laying on your back in the water to GOING. you just have to do it. jump in and figure it out.  :D thats all there is to it.


now for the rest...
THOU SHALT NOT IDOLIZE THOU CELL PHONE.
if i have a pet peeve. thats it. even though i do it myself. is that hypcritical? even when i am actively fighting it. trying not to rely so so much on my phone. i feel disconnected with the world. if i dont have my phone with me, i feel almost naked. and frantic when i dont have service, when my texts wont go through. its so awful.

calculus forreal starts monday. im nervous. as all get out.
pray for me pleaseee.

buneas noches.

underclassmen.

i got THE most annoying underclassmen today comin home. UGH. they were bein total jerks. flippin me off, like stickin their hands out the window and stuff. i was ridin on their bumper hahaha, but that shouldnt be any reason to act like jerks. stupid stupid stupid stupid.

also heard a pretty good band today, called forward forward. i like em. check em out on myspace.

ITS FRIDAY. and i am so glad.

so.
it has come to attention that:
1. i dont quite have the talent to post as witty blogs as my friends.
2. i have already let calculus kick. my. BUTT.
3. i am very very very VERY out of shape.

let me elaborate...
1. if youre reading this, you know that my blogs arent witty. lol. they are quite boring. i dont have that many great points or realizations to share, unless they come with great inspiration. maybe ill post a recent realization that i struggle with each day... kay look for that later. :]
2. i made a 68 on our first calc test. it was a review of precalc. i couldnt remember the little things that actually equated to the answer of the whole problem. and thatsss a problem. she said it "wasnt me", probably because i made a 98 the second quarter of precalc... but she said that theres still hope! and that i can do it. andddd with a POSITIVE outlook, ill continue calculus.
3. danggg i went for like a mile and half run today. UGH. im outa shape. it burnedddd and then when i got home i felt like puking. stephen, i dont know howww i am gonna survive in our 5k lol. if i train though, i think i can do it.

its gonna be friday tomorrow. im stoked.

ehhh.

first day of school.
what can i say? its the same. but its my last first day of school, so i guess its different.
teachers are decent so far. ive either had or know 2 of them. im in for a long haul. but in calculus we took this test thing, by some lady who motivates people. it said i was a director, and described me to a tee. it was pretty sweet.
AHMAZINGGG lesson on jazzy tonight :] that made me happy.
but now im superrrrr tired, ill post more tomorrow, when its not bed time.
buenas noches. :]

FIRSTPOST.birthday.lastdayofsummer

So this is my first post. I've never done a blog before, until now. Because the rest of my YOUTH GROUPPP is doing them, I figured why not. Since this is my VERY FIRST post, I'll describe myself. Almost completely.

I am a Christian. For life. For eternity. Despite the persecution, trials, and tribulations. "blessed are the persecuted for righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." I believe in things you probably don't, and would probably argue with me about, and would call me close minded or opinionated for them, but I believe them because it's the truth. I believe the Bible in it's complete and whole form; every sentence, every word, every letter mandated by God.
I am so so so straightedge. And proud of it. I don't believe I am missing out on anything because of my lifestyle. I choose not to do these things because I have goals and dreams and hopes for the rest of my life. These things only hinder that.
DRUGS
ALCOHOL
CURSING
SEX
I'm determined, strongwilled, hardheaded, and set on what I want in my life. When I put my mind to something, it's gonna get done. I am always doing something or going somewhere to accomplish something. I like it that way. I am not one to sit on my butt all day, I feel useless. I work hard at school, and it's finally starting to pay off. It's hard for me to actually like school, but it's the end result of all that work that I look forward to. I like to think I have a good work ethic in things outside of school. I find it hard to understand people with no motivation. I have more than enough. I push myself too hard sometimes. And I'm too hard on myself as well, in my appearances, my performance at school, my walk with Christ, basically everything.
I have amazing friends. They are more like family, the best ones. My youth group is like my support line. I can go them for basically anything in the world. And I love it. I can't describe how amazing they are. It's not humanly possible with words. You'd have to have the same kind of relationship to even begin to understand. I am thankful every day that God put me in the state, town, and church I'm in to be near these people.
 
I'm seventeen today. It's wierd. I'm a senior in highschool now. It all went by so fast, these past 3 years are like a blur. I am holding on tight to my last year in this place. I don't want to let it go. I don't feel like a senior in highschool. I don't feel like a leader. Yet I am.

I ride horses, yeah I'm one of those people... But I'm not stuck up. Or rich. Or able to show every weekend. I don't have an expensive $943769034798346 warmblood or sport horse. I have a little Appaloosa. His name is Jazz. He is worth more to me than any horse out there. What he lacks in performance and looks, he makes up for in heart. If he were a person, he would be one of those people that you don't get smiles or praise from very much. So when you do get that one showing of affection, it means that much more. Horses are my passion. The barn is my outlet. I don't have to worry about much there. School, college, drama stays at the back of my mind when I'm there. It's a great feeling.