time seems to crawl in this dark hole they call my dorm room. its always so dark in here. it gets dark outside early now too, i hate that. sometimes i can bear the cold; seeing my breath in the air, pulling out the carhartt, curling up next to someone warm. the cold is refreshing sometimes, it kills the bad things in the air, in the ground. the thoughts prevail however. swirling and ever present. sometimes i wish there was a switch to turn my mind off. that way i could just feel and live on the instincts given to me...
there are those moments when the freezing air is bearable but they are are so fleeting. all other times it seems to ice my veins over; im always cold, so cold. my body cant compensate. the dropping temperature seems to pair perfectly with my dropping functionality. i just let the epic every day consume me, fall into the routine of just getting the least done. i dont want that though, i want to shine. to step ahead of the masses and live for my God. i ask for the strength, the motivation to do so. its so easy to just ride that line of the minimum, never daring to be bold and cross it. im bold arent i? daring, unique, different? so they say. 'they' are the ones who are meaningless however.
let me really be different and break those boundaries with zeal and vigor, breaking through them at break neck speed, never hesitating, just going forward. after all, hesitating is the ultimate means of failure. those last minute doubts, they will be the death of us all.
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