understanding is a feeling, deep down. solid connection. and it cannot be put into words that make any sense. thats why nothing i say, ever comes out the way it is intended to. ill never get it right. being inside my head, my thought process, then youll see. words never amount to what needs to be put forth. i can explain an infinite number of times, but to no avail. you still cant see past what youre so caught up in believing. its not you...those words, so repetitive. i dont know how to make any sense of it.
i dont know anything about anything. how can you think that any of this is easy? the emotions and feelings and memories, they run so deep. its gonna leave scars when they are pulled out, thats inevitable. the sharp pain is fierce, sometimes dulling to a subtle ache, sometimes rearing its head and thrashing with all its strength. the scars, the scars. they will fade, but will still be there as a reminder. of the mistakes? the regrets? what about the good times? the times filled with laughter, smiles, playful jokes? they will all reside. they dont go away. my slate doesnt wipe clean. is my memory that of a gift? or a burden?
watch it now, your last paragraph sounds like a cutter's curse.
ReplyDeleteno cutters curse for me, its all metaphorical. i remember it from this time last year. someone told me that...
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