utter contentment?

i do believe ive reached it, on this gorgeous day at home.
the smell of outside is so soothing to me; the fresh, clean scent of it. it just reminds me of so many memories.
me and mom went to see jazzy today. we rode in the red truck, windows down and fresh air streaming in. before i left for school, i was so determined to not have him sitting in the pasture doing nothing. even though he is getting older, you could never tell. he doesn't seem to age. but seeing him out there in that huge green pasture with nothing between him and freedom made me realize that he is at his happiest doing just that. just being a horse, running on instincts. as i walked up and he eyed me, i could just tell. his eyes had that wild edge to them. yes, he's just a horse. but i feel like we have this attachment to each other where i can see what he thinks. he got that taste of freedom and now he will never forget it. that's how he needs to be. back to his roots, from hundreds of years ago. where his ancestors ran free and wild and hard on the open grasslands. where human contact was a connection like no other; horses were partners, not servants. i understand now. i took him for granted, how sturdy and strong and in tune with me he is. but it all makes sense. i miss him so much. when i first saw him, i saw a flash of a wild horse out west, with quick thinking and true instincts. with a wild and unkempt mane and tail, not done up and pedicured by human hands. the way it should be. his mane all grown out and tinged with red from the clay soil, wispy and long in his eyes and running down his face. he has nothing to worry about, he just listens to the whispers of the tall grass as the wind runs through it, inviting him, calling him, to be wild. to be free. to run and run until breath is gone. his heart pumping faster and faster, as his feet churn beneath him sounding out the staccato beats of untamed glory.