comparisons.

last summer
the summer of 19. the tribe became one. of bracelets, handmade ones. late night movies and late night swimming. crazed trips to harris teeter. raiding of nanas pantry. sleepovers and no sleep. unpersued loves, and losses. break apart, come together again. fresh scars, inside and out.

this summer
little time. last minute plans till who knows when. rushing, everywhere. early mornings of hard work. contentedness, yet unsatisfied. roiling emotions: angerfearconfusionlovepassiontearsrawfeelingsheldinside. demand for presence. splitting. complacency. back and forth. nick. anxiety. pressure. no time at home, just no time.

sometimes i feel like raging and crying and being stubborn. sometimes im all for just facing it, just dealing. that front doesnt last long. my walls are knocked down, in my own mind and thoughts and reality strikes with a harsh blow. theres no time left. i cant leave things like this. how do i fix them? im always fixing something, making something right, working to make it alright. with no time and a huge distance to come, theres no place for that anymore. my place is gone, faded as the day with the coming sunset of tonight. the rich and vibrant colors of reds and violets, soft pinks and shining oranges. they will all go to blackness soon, leaving only the moon and stars to guide the way now.