complacency.
apathy.
peace?
can you define by this?
would i rather stay healthy and happy now? or succeed for future purposes?
the previous is what im leaning towards, however ill be glad going for the latter later on.
going through the motions.
its all i can do.
in about everything.
i have established routines, i go through the same ones with every aspect of my days.
certain stimuli that used to make me feel sparks, they feel deadened.
i want to feel them, can i make myself? sometimes.
when i clear the load off my mind, theres room for my insides. it doesnt feel suffocated in there, it feels light. and free. like i can enjoy the little things. those little things, how significant they really are.
can i blame this pile of heavyness on anyone but myself? is it my lack of motivation?
is it?
cant answer that one. id rather not.
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