and yet they prevail

theres no feelings left. i only admire your strategy; flee.
its so cowardly, yet so effective.

i feel like im going through the motions. im halfway through my last year of highschool, but i dont know how i got here. i wasted two months, waiting. for what? all i got was hurt. ive let a wave of complacency wash over me. making the days just blend together. into grey. the weather doesnt help either; the skys grey, the ground is grey, nothing stands out as a vivid picture in my mind. thats how my memories work; all through pictures. i remember a time, pictures and sounds automatically pull up with it. the highlights of my days are what i remember, they are so vivid and luminous.
the summer was my favorite. everything is always so bright and happy and full of laughter, of bonding, of freedom.
summer is the color of freedom. the crystal blue sky, the green grass as it dulls in the heat, the white sand of beaches, the cerulian turquoise of the ocean, the bright solids of a cotton tshirt in the sun, the orange and yellows and purples and reds of the sunsets, the shape of laughter and happyness and joy.
summer is the taste and smell of freedom. the taste of salty sweat from the intense sun, the briney taste of the ocean air on your tounge, the taste and smell of fresh cut grass in the morning, the sharp scent of chlorine by the pool, the fresh clean scent right after a huge thunderstorm, when its perfectly calm, as if the world has just been washed clean of the heat of summer, of its troubles, of its trying.

its bliss.

im a work in progress, always progressing, always shifting and changing with the days.